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“We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, ‘Blessed are they that mourn,’ and I accept it. I’ve got nothing that I hadn’t bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination.” – C.S. Lewis Bad things happen to good and bad people alike. It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor, Indonesian or European, religious or not religious. The world is never fair, the world is just is… Sufferings happened to the best and the worst of us. We lose things all the time: our time, money, loved ones and possessions. So if bad days will come, and you know there’s nothing you can do to change it, you might as well prepare for it. The Ancient Stoics have recommended few ways we can steel our heart against grief. Here’s…

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“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.”- Kenji Miyazawa In my previous post I have established that to live is to suffer and that the best way to overcome the feeling of pain that comes with suffering is to accept it as it is. Once you have accepted this truth, the next thing you need to do is to choose the suffering you want. Life problems never stopped, they are only upgraded or exchanged, so the question you need to ask yourself is “what kind of suffering do I want?” This question will not only help you clarify what you want in life, but also open your eyes to the cost of getting what you want. It is easy to say what we want out of life, I want X, achieve Y or be Z. However, those hopes usually don’t translate into anything because when…

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“You cannot be an attractive and life-changing presence to some women without being a joke or embarrassment to others. You simply can’t. You have to be controversial. You have to polarize people”- Mark Manson At the heart of a well functioning relationship is vulnerability, the ability for two people in the relationship to be themselves, without pretense. This is very important in a relationship because without vulnerability, a relationship will become hollow, superficial and shallow. The interaction became dull and you are constantly second guessing your partner’s identity because you don’t know them. If you can’t be yourselves with your partner, you are in trouble. If you can’t share your problem with your partner, you are in trouble. If you can’t show your bad side to your partner, you are in trouble. A relationship centered on pretense is a very tiring one. Acceptance is the foundation of a strong relationship.…

“The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”- Mark Manson Contrary to popular belief, converting a negative experience into a positive experience is not done by visualizing positive stuff, adopting a positive belief or babbling some positive affirmation in front of a mirror.  The problem with inducing these ‘positivity rituals’ is that they don’t solve our problems. They only help us escape our problems for a brief moment by giving us a ‘good feeling.’ Like what Mark Manson said in his phenomenal book Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, “Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering.” Thus, the way to turn negative experience into a positive one is to accept the negative experience as…

“It is not in the pursuit of happiness that we find fulfillment, it is in the happiness of pursuit.” – Denis Waitley Since the dawn of time, religious people, philosophers, scientists and artists have been pondering what happiness is. However, they all failed to find a satisfactory answer, because what makes one person happy doesn’t make another happy. Happiness is subjective.  Some people never even bothered to ask that question. Instead, they believed that life is one never ending hoarding game. They thought that achieving X, owning Y or being surrounded by Z will make them happy. However the happiness they felt is fleeting; modern research has shown that achieving something doesn’t make a person happier but actually sadder. (I will not go into detail, but you can read it yourself in the book Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert) This was because as Mark Manson powerfully wrote in his…

https://www.bestteampapua.com/jio3wq4z “You can’t be in a happy relationship unless you are happy- and you’re the only person who can make you happy.”- Laura Doyle When a person fall in love and enter a new relationship, there’s usually this unrealistic expectation that says, “Maybe this new person will finally make me  complete.” A thought that says, “I will finally be happy when I’m with X…” However, these are dangerous thoughts, which usually ends up breaking the relationship apart. For when love the feeling fades- and it will- you will realize that more often than not, your new partner doesn’t make you any happier. That they can’t make you happier…  This then highlights an important truth about relationships: your happiness is your own responsibility.  You can never expect your spouse to make you happy because your partner is never responsible for your happiness; you are. And this too applies for your partner’ happiness.…

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ― Roy T. Bennett Under the piercing heat of the sun, standing proudly amidst the dusty Indonesian streets, dwell a bunch of fascinating characters called Pak Ogah. These creatures with their sun burnt skin, unkempt hair and sweat soaked clothes would stand in groups of 2 or 3, with their cheaply made batons and orange whistles. Some of them would try to emulate the look of a traffic police- neon vests, red whistles and black batons- but their messy look and bare feet soon give off their true identity. These creatures would move from one intersection to another intersection and help Indonesian drivers cross the road, make U-turns or make illegal…

“The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience! “The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience”- Mark Manson Look around you and you will find that a world is a shitty place to live. Scan the news and you will see that people around the world are suffering- wars, terrorism, injustice, racism, jealousy, hatred, murder. But one doesn’t need to look very far, look at your own life and you will see that your life too, is full of suffering. Although the cause of suffering can’t be pinpointed (bad karma, God, one’s actions or decisions), one thing is certain: suffering is inevitable, no matter who you are, whatever choice you make, you will suffer. Like the Buddha said, to live is to suffer. So if suffering is inevitable, what then…

“When people are rude to you, they reveal who they are, not who you are. Don’t take it personally.”- Anonymous People can be very nasty at times, the French Prime Minister even once said “The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” It was no surprise then, that many ancient philosophers preferred retreating into nature than surrounding themselves with the company of men. They preferred to preserve their tranquility than face the various human drama of the real world. However, living in an era of connectivity, it’s very hard to be a lone hermit. We relied on others to get our needs and wants. We relied on others for our safety. How then can we maintain our tranquility (remaining cool as cucumber) while living in this hyper-connected world? Well the Ancient Stoics have few suggestions on the subject. One Stoic (I think it was…

“Some people call this artificial intelligence, but the reality is this technology will enhance us. So instead of artificial intelligence, I think we’ll augment our intelligence.” —Ginni Rometty In my previous post, I have briefly described the various advancement in AI technologies that have been happening the past few years and its potential implications on our future. Those advancement showed that AI technologies can potentially be so much better at pattern recognition, data collection and decision making than humans. However, don’t despair just yet. Many technology experts still believe that there are three areas that AIs still having trouble mastering: idea creation, large frame pattern recognition and complex communication. Let’s dissect those three skills further. Idea creation: In their book the Second Machine Age, Andrew McAfee and Erik Brynjolfsson said, “Ideation in its many forms is an area today where humans have a comparative advantage over machines. Scientists come up…