“There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.”– Ryan Holiday.
What usually cause a situation to turn into a problem is our perception, or to put it simply, the way we see the situation.
Our perception colors our emotion, and as a result, it eventually affect our whole decision making process.
With the wrong perception, we can make mountains out of molehills, fear something that doesn’t actually exist and worry about things that we have little control over.
For example, if we see our colleagues snide remarks and curt response as a form of personal attack, we will probably look for ways to return the attack and escalate the conflict. We become embittered and pass on those negative feelings to people around us.
But if we held back our judgement and try to see our colleague as she is, maybe you will realize that she’s just having a bad day, or perhaps, she’s just having that time of the month. From there, you can forgo those snide remarks and curt response, seeing it as a form of human imperfections or if you are feeling generous, offer her some help.
The key is to make sure that you have proper perspective over every situations you face. Instead of being pulled by one situation to the next, seeing what our mind and emotion wanted to see, you start taking control of this perceiving process.
First, you want to take control of your emotion, stopping your mind from forming judgement out of first impression.
Second, you want to practice objectivity, seeing the problem from the outside and deducting the great “I” from the whole situation. You can try to delay the decision-making process or ask yourself “what advice would you give to a friend, if he/she is facing the same problem?” Pretend that you are a sympathetic friend, who is just trying to help.
Once you neutralize the emotions and able to see the situation as it is, choose a perspective that will be the most helpful to you.
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