The Problem with ‘Perfect’

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Insecurity, anxiety, and depression are incredibly common in our society, and much of this is due to self-judgement, to beating ourselves up when we feel we aren’t winning the game of life.”- Kristin Neff

Recently a new belief has been spreading around the world like a contagion, infecting young minds with affirmations like ‘I’m special’, ‘I’m unique’ and ‘I’m different’.

Although the desire to feel special is understandable, it pose a little problem. By definition, it’s impossible for everyone to be above average at the same time.

Of course we can always work hard and give our best, but even then, there will always someone smarter, prettier, and more successful than you.

In her book, Self Compassion, Kristin Neff said, “Even if we do manage to get our act together, the goalpost for what counts as good enough seem always to remain frustratingly out of reach.”

Nowadays, it is not enough for you to be successful in just your career alone. You need to be successful romantically, physically, socially, etc.

No matter how well we do, it was as if we are never good enough. It was no wonder that the song “Never Enough” from the popular musical movie The Greatest Showman went viral…

The solution according to self-compassion expert, Kristin Neff is to “stop judging ourselves altogether. To stop trying to label ourselves as ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and simply accept ourselves with an open heart. To treat ourselves with the same kindness, caring, and compassion we would show to a good friend…”

And when you are able to do so, you will be more able to accept other people’s short-fallings. You will realize that nobody is perfect and that is precisely the beauty of being human.

We will no longer see ourselves as better or worse in relation to others.

We will start empathizing with one another; connecting with their suffering and short-fallings.

We will become more human…

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Magnus lives in Semarang, Indonesia. He is currently managing the family's business together with his dad and his elder brother. Magnus enjoys reading and recently he started writing his personal reflections.

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