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Love

The Secret Sauce of a Happy Love Life

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“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.” ― Alexander Pope

In the book The Mastery of Love, writer, Don Miguel Ruiz stated that “Your whole life is nothing but a dream. You live in a fantasy where everything you know about yourself is only true for you. Your truth is not the truth for anyone else.”

Thus a perfectly functioning relationship is a relationship where two people in the relationship can share their truth as it is, and live their truth comfortably.

The first secret sauce of a happy love life then, is to accept each other’s differences and respect it. We need to treat each other’s truths as truths with capital T (because that’s how they see it).

The problem is, most people in a relationship tends to force his/her truth onto the other, believing that their truth is right and their partner’s wrong or using their own truths to measure their partner’s truths. Where actually it all is a matter of perspective.

As a result, we expect our partner to be and act in a certain way; feeling disappointed and hurt when they failed to do so.

The only antidote to this tendency is to cultivate the attitude of acceptance- seeing your partner as is- their good side and bad side- and just accept them for who they are, not who you want them to be.

Continually remind yourself that what you deem as “Truth” is usually nothing but assumptions that are bound to change as you age and mature.

Once you understood this, you will soon develop the ability to love with detachment- the ability to stretch yourself for your loved ones, not to get them to do something, be a certain way or accept your truth. But to love them because you love them.  (I’ll discuss this in another time, so stay tuned!)

I hope that you find this article useful and if you wanted to delve deeper into this topic, do read the book “The Mastery of Love” By Don Miguel Ruiz that greatly inspires this article. You can get it here or anywhere else you get your E-book.

Lastly, if you wanted to get my next article earlier, leave your email on the subscribe box below. By subscribing to this blog, you will get my latest Ebook- Threesome (It’s still in Indonesian) and one bonus article every month

Magnus lives in Semarang, Indonesia. He is currently managing the family's business together with his dad and his elder brother. Magnus enjoys reading and recently he started writing his personal reflections.

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